"MY LOVE FOR YOU IS NOT AN ONE NIGHT STAND"---- On Millenial Relationships

Aritra Das Sarma

This is an era of hook- ups,one night stands,casual flings and virtual friendships . Long back Budhdha enlightened all with the fact that "nothing lasts forever". I guess millenials have absorbed that truth a tad too seriously. No there's no harm in one night stands,hook- ups or flings because two mature people can do whatever they want to do with each other's consent...neither its a matter of moral concern. Observing societal structures especially in a diverse country like India,what can be found is that the transition from a society which has given so much importance to its traditions to a society which is relatively modern ; is not a smooth one. There are two contrary impulses governing the mindsets of most millenial Indians ,when it comes to relationships.On one hand they desire monogamy,want a partner who can fit into their image of "the one" ,on the other hand ,they are easily distracted. There 's a big fuss over extra -matital affairs in India because it has considered monogamy to be pious. Moreover there's property involved in marriages. Divorces do not happen overnight.And thereby people resort to secrecy in continuing relationships outside their marriages. But we must never generalise situations . The reasons for people to get into affairs are never the same.But in majority cases the reason has been falling out of love with their married partner. When asked casually most millenials have admitted to cheat on their partners with someone with whom they have felt a deeper connection,and leaving their previous partner. In some cases they have managed to come out of their previous relationships guilt-free and get into a new one with some struggle but in most cases they have remained caught in the middle ,unnecessarily causing enormous stress to their mind body and spirit. On one hand they want to spice up their life with variety on the other they are profoundly attached to the boring and monotonous.Its not possible to have the best of both worlds. Its not possible to cut the cake and have the piece too. Either someone is traditional in some aspects or modern in those ...otherwise the conflicts would eat them up alive . Social media has fanned the flame . Everyone is accessible now with just one click. For America, hook-ups are the norm...for an India which goes to Macdonalds and KFC ,watch netflix , post on Facebook and Instagram just like its American counterparts ...not getting the liberty to engage in a free lifestyle in the fear of "log kya kahenge" compel them to wear a mask . Many youngsters when surveyed have reported ,hiding many aspects of their lives from their parents . But if this was just the scenario, things would have still not been so difficult.The real problem happens because deep down under they feel the need of settling down with only one partner in the long run. They are often forced to marry someone well -settled. Families focus on matching birthcharts and not on minds. What is marriage ,my friends? Well its nothing but a lifelong friendship. Gone are the theories when people said opposites attract...yeah that's good for keeping alive the passion in initial years but its not passion which keeps marriages or relationships alive...its true friendship that does . Thats why when we see our grand parents still in love with each other, deep down under we feel the urge of settling with someone whom we can call a true friend for life. We wonder what did they do to keep their relationship going ? What must be the secret ? Then we see them fighting with each other daily and yet caring for each other unconditionally . We see two kids in best kind of friendship with each other. Our modernity vanishes in those seconds .We want that but then we hear some friend broke up after a relationship of three years or an uncle filing for divorce And we doubt again the whole idea of commitment or marriages. Then whats the solution? What is the answer ? "The answer my friend is blowing in the wind The answer is blowing in the wind !"